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CAPTION CONTEST 17




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CONTEST ENDS AUGUST 31st 2018




THE ENTRIES


"Polo anyone?"

"Chocolate, chewing gum, popcorn and Giant Life Savers.  All little known inventions of the Aztecs".

    "How many goals did Mexico score in their last game of the World Cup?  Aww too soon?"

  "Gulliver always insisted the Lilliputians put on safety equipment to make the holes in his mints !"

  "What idiot decided we were going to sell a mint with a hole?"

"Vandals from the rival confectionary firm Aztec caught on CCTV destroying the Polo factory"

"Now that's what I call a mint with a hole!"

  "Come on baby, let's do the twist"

   "This whole experience is getting me down"

This is a hole lot of fun

"Time for everyone's favorite dance show Meso-American Bandstand"

  "Kind of a  pre-Columbian version of The Hollywood Squares?"

  "How the Aztecs reduced their federal deficit."

  "I spy with my little eye, something that begins with O"....."Is it an Olmec?"

    "Olé whack-a-mole!"

  "Finally!  A hole in one!"

"You dancin'?"  -    "Who's askin'?" "I'm askin'!"    -   "I'm dancin'!"

     "Calm down Trevor, I'm not sure it will be hole-ly accepted. I mean, who’s going to want a mint with the middle missing? "

   "The origin of peppermint lifesavers "

 "Tenochtitlan-based AZ-tech candy company creates new product utlizing peppermint oil brought to the new world by the conquitadors "

 "In Aztec tradition it was customary to create the right stone circle
by running round the altar slab clockwise and chipping out the middle—only 38 more to go!"

 "To appease the Sun God and finish the stone circles,
the two bored warriors resorted to the traditional ball game with a twist,
replacing the ball and using their clubs to hollow out the circles—one down, 38 to go! "

    "Fabio & Diego loved their Zumba classes together, but when Fabio suggested a Brazilian, Diego said I’m out of here……. "

     "Hard to decide what's worse, the Aztec's practice of human sacrifice -- or their insatiable love for Disco dancing. "

   "Trial and error at the new Tenochtitlan Yo-Yo factory… "

    "By Tezcatlipoca, I wish they would just let us cut these rings without all the ceremonial mumbo-jumbo! "

      "The early invention of the Yo-Yo was actually impractical for obvious reasons... "

   "Celebrating the first tire out of the factory! "

 "Not a good start, maybe the wheel is not so useful. Let's drop this stupid idea "

   "For sale: two beautiful aztec figures playing polo in peppermint condition "

    "One of the strangest pre-colombian sports was polo. Scholars are still investigating why this strange name... "

   "In Marco Polo's nightclub the punters were going menthol. "

 " In your best David Attenborough voice.
  "…………and here we are privileged to witness the ancient Aztec ritual of turning a Trebor Mint into a Polo. "

 "………..just listen to that long lost chant to the Aztec goddess Chicomecoatl and god Tonacatecuhtli ……… "
Trebor Mints are a minty bit stronger stick them up a conquistador and they last a bit longer……… "

    "It was! It was a mouse I tell you. I saw it. It ran under there.  "

   "So, that's the game is it? We just roll this big,
heavy stone circle thing backwards and forwards and try to run over each other's toes! "

     "Although his companions thought it strange,
Guatemoc always wore one of these before fighting the Conquistador's. After all, it was a giant life saver. "

 "History never recorded how important these small round discs were to the Aztec culture.
Here we see 2 Aztec warriors performing what would later become known as the   "disco " dance. "

 "Montezuma's revenge was actually a real medical problem that the king himself suffered from during his reign.
His medical issue was so bad  that it took the strength of 2  Aztec  warriors to produce king sized antacid tablets to help treat his condition. "

 "Tweet Tweet Twiddle Twiddle
There's Only One Candy With A Hole In The Middle
And I Mean To Have It "

     "so you think you can dance "

     "For Sale - 2 Aztec Warriors - Mint "

 "Recently discovered proof that Polo was played by the Aztecs "        (British Version)

    "I don't care if it is a Lifesaver - get it off..........!  "    (American version)

    "Aaaaaarg...help me...this thing is lashed to my foot and won't let go! "

 "I think we may have finally invented the wheel. "

 "We're advanced in culture...we have progressive agriculture techniques,
amazing architecture, we even introduced the world to chocolate and popcorn...
but we still have to carry everything by hand...now...if we could only invent the wheel. "

    That wasn't at all what he was expecting when the crowd roared out that he should  "put a ring on it ". 

        AZ001 -  "What's all these?! "
  AZ002 -  "for John's massive headache from updating his website!"

     "Latin American football got off to a slow start. "

"Tourist to his wife "say honey if this is the hall of Montezuma where can I hang my coat?"

"Little known fact, not only did coffee,
chocolate and the humble potato come from the Americas but also the mint with the hole
(and of course they named it after a great explorer!).

Having trouble with those sacrificial blood stains? Why not try Vallerjo number 147 natural stone.

The Cartagena jaguars' mascots get in a bit of preseason training."

"Use Montezuma's Revenge on tough toilet stains. 
Now with the scrubbing power of Obsidian

"So come on down now to Jaguar of Mexico City.
  We're slashing prices on all 2018 models plus 0 down 0% interest.
Yes that's right 0 down and 0% interest for 60 months. 
Get here   while supplies last."

"And then he said "Let's call it a wheel and use it to move stuff around".  Ha!! What an idiot. "

  "Despite a round the clock efforts of Aztec Mathematicians, Zero was first created by the Arabs."

"Not only does your head have to be in this game, so does your heart.
  Ummm??? Errr.  Poor choice of words on my part. 
Just your head will be fine"

"One used to be the loneliest number until someone invented this (Sigh)."

"The concept of no strings attached always seemed to confuse Jose and Miguel in the heat of the dance.’"

    "Aztec finals of the "Great Precolombian Pelota Championship ". 
The prize for the winner was to be sacrificed toTlaloc.
No surprise that the game was stuck on the nil-nil for days."

  "The early idea of bungee jumping was seen (rightly) as an alternative human sacrifice. "

  "Yippee! That's the last one - now if we can join them all together I think we have the beginnings of a sewerage system!"

"The annual Aztec Spearmint Candy making contest was always a heated event.
But this year it was held in Tenochtitlan and "Ahuatzi" was determined to win,
even if it resorted to cheating!"

"First there was chocolate, now village sized lifesavers. 
The candy makers havn't  perfected mouth sized portions yet."

 "The concept of no strings attached always seemed to confuse Jose and Miguel in the heat of the dance."

" Pete soon as Mum looks away we can stop this silly dancing and tuck into these mint imperials!"

 "Thank to gods, Pok-ta-Pok rules are not being introduced to FIFA."

"The annual cheese rolling contest had just morphed into a head rolling contest."

"The Aztecs did have wheels, lots of them, they just didn't know what to do with them. "

"Polo mints are better!", "No, No, No, Trebor mints!"

"Oi, get off me cheese! Gromit! Gromit! Go for him! Gromit! I'll give you what for, you tyke! Gromit!"

"The Aztecs had more 'O's and holes than they knew what to do with."

"The winner would be crowned the 'Big Cheese',
the loser would have a cracker-barrel of a headache!"

"I'm sorry, Gromit. I know you're doing this for my own good,
but... the fact is, I'm just crackers about cheese!"

"NO, I said 'Hose', not 'Holes'!"

"It's a complete myth that there were no Aspirins in the jungle because the "parrots eat 'em all"(paracetamol).
In fact, it was because the Aztec had 'em all."

"Luckily the Aztecs had a large supply of Alka-Seltzer because the loser was going to have one heck of a headache!"

"The Aztec alphabet consisted solely of the letter 'O'."

"The Aztecs are credited with inventing Steradent. This was all a bit rubbish for them though,
as dentures weren't invented for another three hundred years."

"One letter down, twenty five to go."

"Along with gold, silver and precious stones, the Aztecs were pretty well minted. "Lets Dance"

"See what happens when you don't stand for the National Anthem?"

   "Early Album cover for the band "Aztec Two Step"

  "The early idea of bungee jumping was seen (rightly) as an alternative human sacrifice. "

  "The Conquistadors had heard rumours of "a large mint" deep in the jungle.
  They spent years searching for it and the gold it must contain,
hoping it would be like King Ferdinand's large   mint in Spain. 
Imagine their disappointment when they finally discovered El Dorado......."

  "The Conquistadors were homesick.  Saturday afternoons were the worst. 
Instead of watching their heroes at Real Madrid or Benfica playing the beautiful game they had Tupac trying to escape a giant Polo mint."

   "You put you right foot in , your right foot out , you do the okay coky. 
And pull a mint out !!!!!! "





check out the other Caption Contests for extra laughs!

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CAPTION CONTEST #2

 

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